Attending the feminism course in Mutare, Zimbabwe last year
will forever be one of my life’s greatest highlights. Not only because of the
40 young vibrant African young women I met and became friends with in just two
weeks but also how the course put everything else into perspective for me. When Lutanga Shaba in that first session made
the statement on how it was important to look at things with a
feminist eye at first I did not fully comprehend it, but with time that is all
I seem to do. Looking through life and everything happening in this world with
my feminist lens. To some, I might sound like an extremist, but that is a story
for another day and I really do not care about the name calling at this moment.
One day my big sister was dropping me at work, as usual, and
for that day our conversation was centered around rich single young people in
the society and she made a comment that totally shocked me. She said “Chuma
chimakoma kudya ndi ana, palibe safuna kukhala ndi ana.” Nothing wrong with
that, she is entitled to her own opinion and I respect that but it was the
generalisation that she made that shocked me. Not every woman (or man) wants to
have children or get married. And that does not make them less human or wise. Being
an SRHR Advocate such generalisations do not sit well with me. It is wrong to
assume every woman will want to get married, or have kids. With the recently passed Gender Bill where it
clearly stipulates a woman’s right to have kids or not in Section VI. The much
celebrated Gender Bill will be nothing but a legal document on paper if
intensive awareness & publicisation is not done for women in both rural and
urban settings. But much more needs to be done in changing of women attitudes
towards what society expects of them. I say this, in light of the comment my
sister made. We are beings made from interactions and experiences so whether
you are educated or not does not mean much.
A woman’s worth is not in her marital status or the number of kids she
has.
I was also shocked to learn that it is very difficult for a
young single woman to find a place to rent in Lilongwe. Married women do not
want to have single young women as tenants simply because she poses a threat to
the stability of her marriage, funny, but true.
Young women are pretending to be engaged or married just to get a place
to stay. A certain young lady was once told by her landlord to go change her
outfit because her skirt was too short. Initially
I thought the disparity between older women and younger women was huge because
of the generation gap but I just realized now there is another gap that is
freshly maturing between young married women and young single women and this
worries me deeply. The notion that a married young woman is wiser, older in
experience and mostly right is rather shallow. But that aside, at this crucial
time when we have a female president and global spotlight is on women, I feel
this is the time for women to hold hands, and rise up! It is the time to not
focus on our differences, diversity or marital status but rather the harmony in
our pain, our stories and our experiences.
It is important to look at things with a feminist eye, to
question the status quo. To question why a young woman needs to pretend to be
married just to get a place to stay, a place she can well afford. Why do young
women need to get married to prove something? Why do married women feel
threatened with young single successful young women? Why are young women not participating in
public forums? What is the government providing for young women? And most importantly what are YOU as a young
woman doing in changing this?
We can learn so much from the older women, there
is need for inter generational forums so that there is understanding and
cooperation between older and younger women in this country. I feel older women
have safe spaces where they talk and interact but there is nothing of that kind specific for young women. Older women in this country have a stronger voice, but there
is none for young women. Collaboration between the two generations would make
tremendous strides in the promotion of women rights in Malawi and also assist
in the building of the larger women’s movement in Malawi.
